I'm not here to recant any confessions, criticisms, or sneers - I'm only here to say that I might have been a little too presumptuous in declaring Aaron Kwok the triumphant winner of the heated "Battle of the Hotpants." I've been doing some research, and it seems that while Louis Koo has lost the Battle of Hotpants, Aaron has definitively lost the War of Hotpants - and will be submitted into the Hall of Fashion "HUH?" (Or, as I like to call it, the Hall of Fashion "WHY?")

It's true that Louis Koo occasionally sheathes himself in questionable outfits, even an occasional dress, but let's face it: Aaron Kwok wears hotpants all the time. He must have fifty different pairs in his closet, all lined up in their own cubbyholes, as if they were works of art and not eyesores. But it's not only the microshorts that have caused his induction - it's also his long history of wearing bad patterns with ugly designs and questionable fabrics, his odd poses while in those outfits, and the constant spit and sparkle of his clothes. How could I have ever criticized F4 with such disgust on their first sequined attempts when Aaron Kwok was already a repeat offender?

While I still consider Aaron to be the Cantopop star I'd most like to marry, that doesn't exempt him from being rational when it comes to clothes. Although there are instances in which his fashion sense is admirable, the negatives outweigh the positives. He must be destroyed, or at least stripped naked and thrown into the hands of a talented team of stylists and consultants. Take away his sparkles, his shorts, his hats, and his patterns, and let him build from his inexperience. It's the only way for us to save our eyesight and sanity. Let's hope for the best with Aaron Kwok and remember that the soapy sting felt when washing out your eyes is only temporary.

All the wrong colors: the go-go boots should be white and the hotpants black.

Red, hot and singing from his crotch?